“It was cold, it was freezing, it was way too early in the morning on a day which was suppose to be spent as vacation. I was sitting by the traces of fire which was left from last nights bonfire. I could faintly hear the morning call of the peacocks from far across the dunes, it was all me and a cup of hot tea and the fire.”
Yes its me who is now recalling all these moments sitting at 37000 feet above ground flying on the way back home from my last trip of this year from Rajasthan. After having spent a turbulent trip to Andaman owing to few personal issues back home followed by my own tussle with the health. Having gone through this and expecting few other personal commitments, I decided to go ahead with my last trip of the year all by myself without being accompanied by any of my buddies which I generally do. One of the main agenda for the trip was to definitely spend and give time for myself for some of my thoughts and make way for what I expect to be a mysterious 2012.
Doing such thing has lot of advantages and disadvantages in itself. Advantage being that you get to know and ask yourself some questions about life as to where you stand in life and where you are heading to with your future. Though many a times quite a lot of these questions remains unanswered, it’s the attempt for it which can bring in lot of change in ourself and help us take some “bold” decisions. On the fainter side you end up being so contemplated with yourself that you will need someone to get you out of the mindset, who is actually not present due to your own decisions.
Having said that, quite a lot people around me know that am not a big believer of “new year resolutions” – but this time around though its not a strongest possible attempt, I definitely would like to spend the 2012 re-discovering and re-building myself and setting myself an identity which I can be proud to present to the external material world and convince myself of who I am.
I would like to end this rather philosophical and senti blog with a small verse which a friend of mine sent to me after i spoke to her regarding my trip whilst I was in Delhi during the return back home, which sort of exactly reflects whats in my mind too.
Lonely sky, clouds pass by
Colors of sunset fall from the sky
When alone I walk my mind ponders
On the past, what I have found & lost it wanders
Makes me feel happy to see
What I have besides and around me
I love to spend time with myself sometimes
In this busy world away from all noise
to see the rainbow in my heart
and smile back to life to my art.